You Sound So White

“You Sound So White” -my husband said to me 
Starbucks manager called 911, two black men didn’t buy coffee 
Handcuffed, arrested by multiple officers, no charges filed, then released
Tweet goes viral, national outrage
Remember this 2018 story in Philadelphia? 
Sometimes I am clueless to my privilege
Huh? I know I’ve waited for a friend in Starbucks
Nobody has ever called 911
I ask, “Isn’t there more to the story?” 
Damon, whips his head around, “You sound so white” 
Nicole and Trejan look straight at me in agreement
Silence cuts me like a knife through my heart
Tears come, but why? Why am I so fragile?
Anger, embarrassment, shame, outrage
No words explain the pain of being called out
I have privilege=I must listen, not defend
In the “you sound so white moments” there is NO appropriate reply 
All I did was ask an innocent question!
Why didn’t they wait outside until the other guy arrived?
Maybe they should have bought a drink
White privilege? well, it’s not my fault I’m white. I’m not racist! 
When I heard the Starbucks story, I did NOT think
Racial profiling, story of my life
Reminds me of the time when…
I’m not shocked, oh, people all of the sudden paying attention?
Good it’s on camera finally the world can see 
People just don’t want to believe this happens
What do you think when you hear a racial profiling story? In this Starbucks example the point is not, they should have bought a drink or they should have waited outside. The point is, put me in the scenario, nobody calls 911. I’m ignorant but I’m willing to learn, have empathy and think about things from someone else's perspective. Am I racist for asking “isn’t there more to the story?” Maybe unconscious bias is an easier phrase to swallow, but the truth is I’m racist because of my unconscious bias and the culture I’ve grown up in. I’ve unknowingly had systemic racism help me through my life. I get the benefit of the doubt.
The stories used to be unbelievable. A man is murdered while jogging, man is choked to death by a cop kneeling on his neck, a woman in Central Park threatens to call 911 about a dog leash, we see her freaking out. We all see it now, when a camera shows the scene it’s undeniable. 
I will continue to learn, but it haunts me
You sound so white

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